The path to the future isn't straight.

Although my housekeeping doesn't really testify to this, I like things tidy. Well, I like tidy ideas of the world, like that things could be simply black or white. It's just so satisfying. But I know it's not real life, at least not mine.

Which is why, today, when I went to a friend's house to give one of my first ever practice Pilates lessons, the first stop I made was at the community college where I've been teaching English for.ev.er. Yet another semester. Ugh. Yet another round of paperwork to get on the sub list. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. It was as though part of me was moving towards the future and part of me retracing the same old steps.

I'd had fantasies of being completely done with that job. I was a fitness instructor now, no looking back!

I think any journey is like this, whether it's starting a new career or becoming a healthier person. Maybe you've decided you're going to start eating better. And you do, for a while. Then it's back to doughnuts and Dum Dums and, then suddenly it hits you that Spelt is freakin' awesome and you find a truly delicious recipe for kale and, and, and, then you and your best friend spend a sugar-hazed evening dipping pretzels in Nutella.

The head of my Pilates program sums it up as, "It's a process, man."

Anyway, I'm telling you and I'm telling me: let's stop beating ourselves up because the road isn't straight. Remember the Zen saying, "The obstacle is the path." Yep, we're on the scenic route, not the interstate. It's gonna take longer, but if we do it right, it'll be way more satisfying.

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Jill McGowan Pilates

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